“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”
Looking back, I realize that it all started with small lies - the little white ones. The kind of lies that don't take much effort to overlook. I wouldn't necessarily consider myself an overt idealist or optimist, but I think that I was so eager for something new that I felt those red flags were worth overlooking.
Somewhere along the way, I forgot my self-worth. I got to a point where I would have rathered believe the lies that I was being fed instead of walking away. Maybe it was because I wanted things to work out so badly. Maybe it was because I felt like I had invested so much time and energy into it all. Either way, neither of those could have ever been valid excuses. I lost sight of who I was at my core and what I wanted out of love as well as life in general. In an attempt to find happiness and peace, I resorted to finding that in someone else. Looking back now, I can finally see how that is incredibly unfulfilling.
For those of you who may be going through a similar situation, know that you are worth more. You are more than worthy enough for love. Real love. The kind of love based on truth, hope, and most importantly genuine friendship. Love that is built upon lies, deceit, and manipulation is not love at all. It's impossible. No one should allow themselves to believe such lies.
You know that the red flags are there. Some are blatantly obvious while others may be more inconspicuous, but they are flags nonetheless. That small voice inside of your head and that feeling you have in the pit of your stomach are worth paying attention to. Don't ignore it for the sake of wanting so badly for things to work out and certainly don't ignore it in order to spare the other's feelings.
And while you may be questioning yourself or dealing with feelings of sadness or even guilt after deciding to finally end things, trust yourself enough to know that you made the right decision. Love yourself enough and know that you are loved by those around you. Allow yourself to go through all of those feelings, but don't stay there for too long. The moment you lose sense of your self-worth is also the moment in which you begin to lose sight of who you really are.