Want a Fuller Life? Stop Comparing.
"Comparisons are the killers of all dreams, goals, and determinations."
- Jolanda [U.W. Facebook Follower]
There's about a 99.9% chance that comparison is in no way serving you whether it be via social media or your IRL relationships. The truth is that the moment you begin comparing is the moment that you begin to lose yourself.
A few reasons that you've fallen into the trap of comparison and what to do about it.
You've Lost Sight of Your Own Purpose or Mission
The truth is that the moment you begin comparing is the moment that you get off track of your own goals.
The truth is that comparison perpetuates a nasty cycle that knocks you off track from your own goals, reminds you that you're not achieving said goals, and then drives you deeper into comparison. For me, the moment that I lose sight of my own purpose or mission, I fall into the trap of comparison which feeds into self-doubt. Seeing how others are doing through the rose-colored lens of social media makes feel thankful for my own unique journey that much harder.
Ultimately, unless you're in true and authentic community with those people you're comparing yourself to, you really don't know what is going on in their lives behind closed doors. If you have your own struggles, it can only be assumed that they have their own as well. No one is immune to the challenges of life.
If you want to get yourself back on track, it's time to sit down and get real about what YOU want from your life. Stop living your life on auto-pilot, hoping that things will just fall into place. Set those goals. Get in community with others who will encourage and uplift you.
You've Forgotten Your Worth
Your worth is not dependent upon others. Your value is innate. Your unique qualities and experiences have equipped you with something that only you can give to the world. Comparing your journey to others is pointless because your journey belongs only to you.
Perhaps the topic of self-acceptance deserves an entire article for itself, but in the meantime, please know that your battle with comparison will subside greatly when you learn to love yourself for all that you are. For me, that part is an ongoing battle. I find that I am much more gracious to others than to myself. The words that I direct towards myself are certainly not any that I would direct towards others. Showing ourselves the grace and love that we would willingly give to others is an essential and continual part of the journey.
You Need a Social Media Detox
If the first thing you do when you wake is grab your phone and turn to social media, it might be time to try a social media detox. No, this is not a punishment. It's an opportunity to reset and rebalance your mind. Social media addiction is real. Research shows that receiving positive reinforcements from media platforms in the form of likes, shares, etc.. actually causes your brain to react the same way it would to drugs and other addictive activities.
I've gone on social media detoxes on more than a few occasions. The benefits can definitely be felt. I found that my impulse to compare decreased dramatically. I was able to concentrate more. Perhaps the most surprising result was that I felt that I was able to make more confident decisions without feeling like I was being heavily influenced by media or others' opinions.
What are some ways that you curb the urge to compare?